Rejoice, Pray, Give Thanks

As I sent out an email just now, I looked at the bottom of my typing space, where the signature for my emails is. What a reminder to me, as I go through this tough time.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of YHVH in Yeshua HaMashiach for you."

This verse is comforting to me, because it keeps my eyes and my focus on my Savior, and on my King, rather than my sorrow, my grief, and my pain. I have been struggling with a little Peter-itis... Trying to walk in faith on water, but without my faith in the One who can keep me afloat, I could begin to sink into the murky depths.

We may never find out the circumstances of Beth Rose's death, but it won't change my love for her, nor my love for my Elohim/God, YHVH. It may sadden me more than I have experienced this week, since learning of her death, but He is still greater than my pain.

This last week has been a DOOZY. One week ago today, my bestest friend Beth died. I was told by her sister 6 days ago. As of today, we don't have the answers we are looking for/hoping for. There are lots of surmisings, lots of what I am calling conspira-thizing (conspiracy-theorizing), but no definite answers. And even if we get answers, will it make her death easier to bear? Probably not. I have spent the majority of this last week in a bubble/fog/protective cocoon, if you will. My Elohim YHVH has been protecting my heart against this great loss.  

When Beth's sister told me on the phone, I began to cry, and I told her, "I'm so sorry! I should be comforting you, but right now I just can't!" And I cried. I reacted honestly, instead of my usual of trying to keep it together, and be calm, and trying to be strong for everyone else. It was a sucker punch to my heart. It still is.  

Beth and I met in 7th grade, which is over 25 years ago. We became fast and close friends, and in no time became sisters. Not 'like' sisters, but sisters; we shared everything. We had an inexplicable bond. As teenagers, we were inseparable, and people would call us "The Beths", or the dynamic duo. If you saw one of us, you saw the other. We would hang out at school, and then get home and on the phone until one of us had to hang up. We would coordinate our outfit colors for the next day, and at times 'pretend' it was accidental, lol, but often it would happen without coordination. We finished each others sentences, shared dreams, silly memories, sadness, etc. Sounds like a teenaged friendship, right? But there was so much more! She had an electrifying personality, and even if we were up to no good, she brought out the best in me, and she said I did the same for her. She called me beautiful, and told me I looked like a porcelain doll. I would tell her she was nuts, and that *she* was the beautiful one. I used to wonder why in the world, out of all the people, why she chose *me* to be her best friend. And she would say the same thing to me. We both knew how blessed we were in our friendship.

As we grew up and had our own families to care for, we weren't in constant contact as we would have liked, even falling out of touch from time to time (seems like I was always moving), but when we would catch up, it was like no time had passed. Her spirit was always uplifting, and she got joy out of loving others, and lifting them up. She seemed to face life's trials head on, and tried to find a positive spin, and would laugh at times/things that I would have had a fit over. Our emails and texts and phone calls always began with, "Hey Beth, it's Beth!" She called me her dearest friend, her bestest friend. Even as adults, we had so many different bonds, and would find out that we had been going through similar health issues, and things like that.

She loved her husband, and her kids. She loved God and found joy in doing His work. She loved her family and friends fiercely, and was always protective of all of us. She put her heart and soul into caring for her family. This is the part where it's hard to keep typing. Everyone who knew her knew that she lived for God and her family. And not knowing what happened is really hard to deal with, again recognizing that even if we get answers, it might not make it any easier to deal with. One thing's for certain, I will always love Beth Rose (my family always called her Beth Rose so we'd know which one of us they were addressing), and her family, no matter what.

So this last week I've been in this bubble/fog, I don't know what to call it, except the protection of YHVH/God. I began to examine His Word, and even in my tears, declare His greatness. Some good friends, my husband, and the Word of YHVH advised me to stop looking at what happened, but look to the Rock of my salvation. To make certain that my feet are established on His truth, rooted in Him, so that even in this time of great sadness, pain, and loss, I won't lose sight of Him. A close sister gave me this advice, and I pass it on to you, too.  

"I know you're probably getting all kinds of advice.  But all you can do is be thankful for the time you had with her and feel the sadness and grieve.  You can't explain it,  you won't figure anything out,  that's Yah's job.  Just mourn your loss.  Lift those children and her husband up in prayer. That is so devastating.  Nobody truly knows what was going on in her mind and never will.  Trying to figure it out is a distraction from going through the grieving process and having healing for yourself."

My husband spoke some beautiful words of encouragement to me, reminding me of our foundation (the Rock, not the sand), and of pillars of support. Of how, in a building, there are support beams that are designed to help carry the weight. I cannot share exactly what he spoke into me, but please know that it was beautiful, and a timely encouragement, as well as a confirmation for what Abba had been speaking to me. I share that with you, also.

My neighbor/friend suggested that maybe I am supposed to help by blanketing all who are involved in this loss in prayer, which is a confirmation to me.

I'm thankful for my family, my friends, my loved ones, and especially for YHVH my Elohim/God, and for my Messiah Yeshua/Jesus. I rejoice in His goodness, and am praying for all who are affected by loss, and I give thanks. And for today, it's more than enough to be able to rejoice, pray, and give thanks.

(I might add more later, but no guarantees)

Week 4 ~ Day 2

GROWING THROUGH PRAYER (A 'LOVING GOD GREATLY' BIBLE STUDY)

February 2, 2016

Week 4 ~ Day 2

Read: Psalm 37:7-8

SOAP: Psalm 37:7-8

S:

“Rest in YHVH, and wait patiently for him.  Don’t fret because of him who prospers in his way, Because of the man who makes wicked plots happen.  Cease from anger, and forsake wrath.  Don’t fret, it leads only to evil-doing.”

(“For evildoers shall be cut off, But those who wait for the LORD shall inherit the land. For yet a little while, and the wicked will be no more. Yes, though you look for his place, he isn't there. But the humble shall inherit the land, And shall delight themselves in the abundance of shalom.”) vs. 9-11

O&A:

Oh, speak to me, Abba!  Rest in YHVH – to be silent/still for YHVH; patiently and with confidence expecting HIS aid.  Trusting in Him as a child trusts in a good parent.  My boys are 15 and 11 now.  When they were little, they would get lots of scrapes and bruises (comes from being active children, lol).  They still get scrapes and bruises, but what they did back then was to ask Eema (Momma) to kiss what hurt.  And I did!  Knees, toes, heads, fingers, elbows, you name it!  And my sons believed that it was my kiss that took the pain.  They had perfect faith in that instance, not realizing that it was because they trusted that  the kiss would take the pain, they were believing in something.  How many times did Yeshua make mention of having faith like a child? 

Some examples: Luke 18:17 “Most assuredly, I tell you, whoever doesn't receive the Kingdom of God like a little child, he will in no way enter into it."  Matthew 18:2-4 says “Yeshua called a little child to himself, and set him in the midst of them, and said, "Most assuredly I tell you, unless you turn, and become as little children, you will in no way enter into the Kingdom of Heaven. Whoever therefore humbles himself as this little child, the same is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven.” We must humble ourselves and believe in Elohim and trust in him like a child does for their parent… and wait patiently for Him to answer, to move, etc.

My understanding of verse 7 is that we shouldn’t look to those who aren’t following YHVH, generally, and specifically, those who are prospering although they are not following YHVH.  “Him who prospers in his way”, not Him who prospers in YHVH’s way, but a man who makes wicked plots happen.  This is one who is successful in all things, but not according to YHVH, and not giving all glory to YHVH, the one who is worthy of the glory and praise.

 

Cease from anger speaks directly to me, as well.  Makes me think of when police officers shout out, “Cease and desist!”  (Do they actually say that, or is that just on TV?) 

!”  I actually Googled that, and cease is the stopping, and desist means ‘don’t take it up again’.  Kind of like in Hebrew, the word teshuvah'.

https://www.blueletterbible.org/hnv/joe/2/12/t_conc_878012

David is saying we’re supposed to abstain from anger (cease) and forsake wrath (desist).  But not just because he said so.. the next 3 verses say that the evil-doers will be cut off, and they will be no more, while those who are humble will shall inherit the land, and will delight themselves in the abundance of shalom/peace.  I need to write this upon my heart, and put a post-it note of it on my mirror!  I sometimes get angry – with situations I have no control over, with things that people say and do, over my own words or actions, and sometimes even over my lack of words or action!  I’m sighing with relief as He reminds me to cease and desist!  How can I say I believe He has it all under control, or as someone said yesterday, “He’s got this!”, yet harbor anger and/or wrath?

A very close friend of mine once gave me a visual concerning anger against someone, and I’m going to change it up just a tiny bit.  Say the anger is a sparked a match in your hand.  Either you’ve struck the match, or they struck it and placed it in your hand.  Someone has caused this anger to rise up, right?  Okay, so what do you now do with it?  Do you hold on to it?  Let’s say you do.  You keep holding it, holding it… and now it’s really hurting!  And you’re mean-mugging the person who you’re holding this fire in your hands (anger) against.  Is the fire hurting THEM?  Is it burning THEM?  Is it THEIR flesh that’s getting damaged?  NO.  It’s YOURS.  It's MINE.  Rather than drop the match, which is a form of letting go, but it’s not going all in for YHVH’s glory.  My overactive imagination says, “If you just drop the match, sure it might burn out, but it could also start a-whole-nother fire, and it might not be so easily contained!”  So what if instead holding on to it, and instead of dropping it, we offered it to YHVH, and let HIM handle it?  Trust HIM with it.  We are then able to cease and desist, and then REST in Him, and wait patiently for Him to move.

                                              

P:

Abba, You are always revealing things to me as I search Your word.  You cause me to be vulnerable with You, and then You show me things that are still in my heart, even weeks, years, and decades old.  I realize I have been holding onto matches, and the fire is not only burning me, but it’s sucking up the air I breathe!  The only all-consuming fire there should be in my life is YOU!  All of my unspoken hot spots/fires, Abba, I lift to You right now, in Yeshua’s name!  The angers, the wraths, the hurts, the deceits, the wrong-doings, the ill-spoken words, the hateful comments and thoughts, every single thing Abba that has a hold on me and is sucking out the joy that YOU promised, I give over to You, whether the wrong was done by me, or perceived to be done to me.  I give over to You my anger with people who have spoken ill of and to my husband and sons, who have mistreated them, Abba.  I ask that You forgive me for every spark of anger I have started in anyone else, and I ask that if they still hold the flame against me, my husband, or our sons, that You would speak to into their spirit and reveal this verse to them “Cease from anger, and forsake wrath.  Don’t fret, it leads only to evil-doing” – not so that I would be comforted that they’re not angry with me, but so that You would be lifted up, and glorified.  Scripture says that Your word does not go out and return void, Abba, and I am counting on it.  I place my trust in You, YHVH.  Extinguish the flames of anger, wrath, malice… Ignite and fan the flames of Your righteousness, Your mercies, Your forgiveness, and Your love.  In Yeshua’s name, Amein!

#‎LoveGodGreatly‬

Oh man, I really hope y'all don't think I'm some big bag of wind! I try to be short and concise, but I realize that I have a lot of learning to do. Maybe that's why mine are so long? I partially wish I was so confident in the word that I could read the passage and be able to clearly expound on it, but I also don't despise the way that He has put in me to learn. I know that we all have the very strengths and weaknesses that He designed us for. I just really hope that y'all don't get tired of my typing, and more importantly (to me), I hope that I don't ever come across as 'knowing something', or 'thinking I know it all'. 

I am learning all the way.

<3 In His love <3