S: It is of the L-RD's lovingkindnesses that we are not consumed, because his compassion doesn't fail.They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
O&A: Total disclosure: This immediately brought tears to my eyes! I am trying to keep my head above the water right now, what with the health issues my youngest son is going through, and the stuff my eldest is going through at college. Abba has been leading me to a land unknown to me, and it's been kinda scary. It was exciting at first, waiting to see His handiwork in these situations, and now I'm having to rely solely on Adonai and allow my faith to grow, and watch and pray as my sons grow in faith.
This prompted me to move immediately into application and prayer, and Abba led me to type a message to my sons:
"Boker tov, my remarkable young men. Abba loves you. So do Eema and Daddy ❤
Oh guys, I just realized that I have been doing the same thing that I see you guys doing. We struggle because we're afraid of giving everything to Adonai. I'm sitting here weeping as though I've experienced a great loss, and I really feel like I have. The loss is the burden I've been carrying.
I've been so afraid for you guys. I really have. I've been sitting back watching you go through things that I can't fix, and that I can't always help you with. And it's really hard! I don't know what to do, what to say, when to step in, when not to. I'm afraid of losing you guys, not just in death, but to the world. That's not to say that I think you're OF the world, just that I am afraid of either of you ever giving up Yeshua. Heck, sometimes I'm afraid that something could cause me to lose sight of Him, too, so it's not just you guys.
And I'm weeping because of the things y'all are dealing with, and going through. My heart is heavy for it. And I'm crying because of guilt over the things I've done as your mom that have changed who you are meant to be. I've messed up, and I can't undo it. I'm so sorry for leading you guys astray, and the examples I've set that didn't/don't glorify God.
The scripture that brought this all on is Lamentations 3:22-23 "It is of the L-RD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.
They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness."
Our God is so wonderful, and just as I don't deserve His mercies, His compassion, I don't deserve the wonderful (sometimes very trying) sons that He has given me, or the incredible husband He's given me. I am thanking God that I don't receive what I deserve!
Adonai, I pour out my heart to You this morning, and I empty myself of my burdens, and the burdens of others that I've been carrying around. I relinquish them to You, Adonai! I relinquish my desire to control these situations, and for trying to see the outcome I desire, and I give them to You. They're already Yours, my King. Your faithfulness is so great, Your mercies renewed every morning. Thank You, Adonai, for receiving my broken prayers, for keeping my sons safe, and that they are on the path of seeking You. Abba, I pray that You keep them under Your pinion, keep them close by Your side, speak to them as they go through their days, guide them, Abba, and show me how to be the mom You need me to be to them. Show their Daddy how to be the leader You need him to be for them. Oh, thank You, Adonai! B'Shem Yeshua, Amein"
P: I am in awe of our Father. I hope I'm not too off-base with my SOAP today, but I'm thankful that we all have a place we can be completely transparent, and this is what He laid on my heart this morning to share. G-d's faithfulness is amazing, and stands in stark contrast to whatever faithfulness I think I have.
Faithfulness: Emunah: אֱמוּנָה
firmness, fidelity, steadfastness, steadiness
I have to share another tidbit that just jumped out to me: this same word was used in Exodus 17:12
"But Moses' hands were heavy; and they took a stone, and put it under him, and he sat thereon; and Aaron and Hur stayed up his hands, the one on the one side, and the other on the other side; and his hands were steady (emunah - H530) until the going down of the sun."
Very recently as I was talking with Adonai regarding my eldest son, He showed me this verse in a vision, and He was telling me that my beloved husband and I need to help keep his arms up as these battles are being fought. What I didn't recognize was that they first took a stone, and put it under him, and he sat thereon. Of course we recognize that Yeshua is the Rock of Salvation, and I believe Abba was showing me that before my husband and I can help strengthen our sons to fight the battles, we must be reminded that both of our sons have made their confession of faith in Messiah, both have received their mikveh/immersion; they are both on the Rock of Salvation, and this is WHY we are able to help lift their arms when they grow weary in the battle.
Abba, help us to understand when to step in and bolster their arms, and when to let You be their sole strength. B'shem Yeshua, Amein.