March 29, 2016
Week 2, Day 2
Read: Ecclesiastes 2:20-23
SOAP: Ecclesiastes 2: 20-21
S:
“Therefore
I began to cause my heart to despair concerning all the labor in which I had
labored under the sun. For there is a
man whose labor is with wisdom, with knowledge, and with skillfulness; yet he
shall leave it for his portion to a man who has not labored for it. This also
is vanity and a great evil.”
O&A:
Shlomo says he began to cause his heart to despair. I don’t even want to get into his specific
despairs, but focus on the action of causing his heart to despair. He made the choice to enter into this cast
down in spirit demeanor. He was
thinking, and focusing, on things that he knew would lead him further down the
rabbit trail of despair. In hindsight,
we know from Scripture how all of this turns out, but when we are in the midst
of this thing called “stinkin’ thinkin’” (thank you, Pastor Manuel, lol), we
sometimes don’t realize we are ‘choosing’ to dwell on the thoughts that lead us
further into darkness. Shlomo was
choosing to feed into this, and it was drawing him away from Abba.
I’m not by any means diminishing the effects of
depression. I think it’s called that for
a reason, because as the word implies, it’s a sinking down: the act of pressing
down, or the state of being pressed down; a low state. It can also be the act of humbling or
abasement, like the depression of pride.
It’s also a sinking of spirit, or a state of sadness, and can be want of
courage or animation.
I’m, unfortunately, all too personally familiar with each of
these definitions. When my middle son
died, I was absolutely depressed. I was
the one who ministered CPR to his breathless body while I waited for EMS to
arrive. In the periods of time
following, I was practically void of life, except that my heart kept beating,
and my lungs kept filling with air, and my brain kept sending the life-giving
vital information for the organs to keep operating and the blood to keep
flowing, sometimes against my will, because the pain was so great. What does this have to do with Shlomo? I didn’t put any effort into the state of
depression I was in. It was almost like
a means of survival, keeping everything to a minimum just to survive. Very different from when I don’t get my way,
and get upset about it, and choose to focus on my upset. Or, as Shlomo stated, when I cause my heart
to despair.
If I skip to the last portion of the passage, it says, “This also is vanity and a
great evil.” That vanity is something
we’re hearing a lot of in this study.
It’s the meaningless, void, empty things. The great evil he speaks of comes out to
this: hurtful à wicked – of the manner of
thinking and acting; displeasing to Elohim. So he acknowledges that this wicked, hurtful
way of thinking and acting is displeasing to Elohim.
Oy vey. May
I just take a moment to say that reading Ecclesiastes in this timed fashion is
really, and I mean so seriously, causing me to examine my own thoughts and
actions and purposes??? Here I am
getting upset with Solomon, the Kohelet/Preacher for voicing some of the very
thoughts I have had, and then Abba is dealing with me about it. (Like, come on, Shlomo, why do you have to
put into words the vain thoughts I have had?
It makes me think of how irritating it can be, as a parent, when I hear
my sons repeat certain things I have said ((usually to one another)). It brings things to the light. I baruch/bless Abba for shedding light on the
areas in me and my life that need His touch!
May I/we always be willing to allow the Potter to shape us, mold us, and
change us according to His good purpose!)
P:
Mighty Elohim, King of the Universe, You are so
incredible! I bless You, Abba, and I
bless the works of Your hands, the desires that You have for Your children, and
the words that You speak to us. Abba, I
am so desirous of Your discernment, and wanting to learn more about how to not
cause my heart to despair. It has always
been too easy to listen to the voices that say I’m not good enough, that I’m
not smart enough, that I’m not doing it right enough… which has always given me
ample fuel to cause my heart to despair.
Father, I pray that I will always remember what You spoke to me, that I
am YOUR cegullah bachar. Your chosen treasure. You chose me, and now I have chosen You. I pray that I/we will gain from this study in
Your word Your wisdom, Your understanding, Your discernment, and grow in skill
so that the legacy I/we leave behind will be a living testimony to You, and not
vanity, as Shlomo feared. I pray that
when we turn, as Shlomo mentions, we turn to You, and not from You; that if we have
turned away from you in any area of our lives, that there will be a teshuvah, a
RE-turn to You! Let this study continue
to open spiritual eyes, and cause spiritual stirring to the ways of life that
we may have accepted to be the norm, and revitalize us, in Yeshua’s precious
and Kodesh/holy name! Amein.
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